The Arizona Shootings – Let’s ban something else

In light of the appalling shootings in Arizona this week, Senators and Representatives from both sides of the house are now demanding an immediate end to the ridiculous state of affairs where right wing nutters, who are good with guns but poor at remedial poetry, are allowed to experiment with live ammo.

In a shock move, which many consider a step too far though, the Obama administration are demanding a change in the law which will make it virtually impossible for anyone to have right wing tendencies in the future.

Asked where they would draw the line, a spokesman for the White House said “Anyone who doesn’t want to pay higher taxes, worship their government as a God and do exactly as zey are told, will be assumed to be a freethinking danger to their communities. There is no place in America for the intolerant fascist thugs of the right wing. So in future anyone who drinks Tea at parties or watches Fox News will be rounded up and if they fail to conform to the ideology of the one party, will be humanely shot in the face.

The seventy million Conservative supporters potentially affected by these plans were even angrier than usual. Senator Red Neck told us “This is bullshit! We came out with a ridiculous knee jerk reaction first and these cock sucking hippies just trying to make us look like a bunch of homos”. The controversial ‘plan’ Senator Neck was referring to was the “immediate imprisonment of all homeless drifters and possibly Mexicans while we are it it”.

“We really thought we had the headlines with them and those fuckers gotta’ go talking about killing half the country! Now we’ll have to extend the plan to imprison all the whiny ass vegans who recycle kitchen waste too. That’ll keep those pussy liberals off the front page. I’m going to get my gun!”.