beavertribuneYesterday, as the latest Euro summit ended President Sarcasty again punched the air pointlessly and confirmed that “more shit had been talked than ever before.”
There had been discussion on limits being imposed on the amount of shit EU leaders could talk, what with them being responsible for an entire continent being effectively bankrupt and all. However, when Angela Merkel explained Eurozone states should face some checks on their budgets, such as someone actually looking at them, and yet not a single member of the EU parliament understood anything at all, it became clear that just talking more shit would probably be a better idea.
Clause Von Bullow who heads up the Commission for Really Really Really Stupid Business Regulations and looks like a child molester told us smarmily, “Talking shit is what Europe is all about and incompetence obviously. If we didn’t talked shit to this extent then people would soon realise that the entire thing exists solely for the benefit of us, well and the lizard people.
Meanwhile Dave Angry from Fulham who speaking for ‘every fucking taxpayer in Europe with half a Brain’, went looking for proper answers and told us. “It was ridiculous I went to speak to my Euro MP about the threat of the Economic Armageddon caused by him and all the other arseholes and he just talked shit to me, non-stop, for over an hour. Something about the harmonisation of European bus timetables? I started crying and begged him to say something remotely intelligent and sensible, but he just kept talking total and utter fucking shit. I don’t even think he was human”
Senators in the US Congress have long been envious of the “Euro shit speak “ and casual manner in which EU leaders have ‘treated their electorate with such utter contentmpt’. When we asked the opinion of Burt Jaywalker an unemployed fudge packer from Wisconsin who wandered into our office carrying a gun, he told us, “Bush talked a lot of dum shit, but Obama his shit was good. All that horse shit about ‘Change you can belief in’, now toss over that wallet fat boy before I stick that typewriter up your arse.”